At OmniLevel Negotiations, we never enter a meeting or discussion with our opponents knowing what we will be giving them. That sounds counterintuitive.
A New Starting Point in Negotiations
Most people start with what they want. Their entire focus is on: how can I convince the other side to give me what I want?
We view that as starting on the wrong foot. Instead, we think about the other party and why they’re even talking to us. In all cases, they’re talking to us because they think we can help them do something they can’t do on their own, or don’t want to do on their own.
The Power of Open Communication
Your goal is to discover exactly what the other side’s problem is and their idea of how to solve that problem. That’s what they’re looking to you to help them do.
By taking time to discover their problem before offering solutions, you create an environment of open communication. You’re not threatening because all you’re doing is asking how you can help. But when asking how you can help them solve their problem, you don’t guarantee you can solve it.
Your approach should be, “My purpose is to help you get what you want, when you want it, and in the way you’d like it delivered. I don’t know if I can do that, but if we take some time to discover exactly what’s important to you, then I may be able to either help you myself or recommend someone else who can. This is a non-confrontational approach that keeps the focus on the other party and understanding their problem.
Earn the Invitation to Help
Now, the underlying philosophy behind this is that if you really understand someone’s problem, and they believe that you understand it and are committed to helping them, they will ask you for help.
When they ask you for help, they’re inviting you to make an offer to them to help them. In many cases, they’ve already decided that you’re a preferred partner because you have given them your time and energy, listened, and fully understand their situation.
With each question you ask, you understand them better. They’ll make an internal decision to work with you, even before you mention the conditions you need to work with them.
You put yourself in a position to get maximum value for your products or services because they’re convinced you can help them. They become unwilling to look for alternatives that seem less certain than yours.
Define your Negotiation Purpose
So those are the main reasons why we always start the negotiation with our negotiation purpose, which is: To give the other side what they want, when they want it, and how they want it delivered – but under conditions that make sense to us.
When we communicate our negotiation purpose, we use words like, “the only reason I’m here is to help you get what you want the way you want it. I can’t guarantee I can do that for you, but if you are willing to share some more information, we can both determine if we’re the right partner for each other.”
If you don’t have any idea of what they want, then your negotiation purpose is to discover what they want. Notice you’re just listening for their needs, desires, their desired outcomes, and why they’re talking to you at all. You’re not saying anything about your capabilities or your ideas of solutions because you really don’t know what their problems are yet.
Never Put a Solution Before a Problem
From my new book, “Discussing solutions before agreeing on the problems and what they mean to each party is a mistake—one that can result in suboptimal agreements or, even worse, wasted time, money, and failed agreements. Think about it like this: If a doctor prescribed a drug or treatment before diagnosing the patient’s problem, it would put the person’s health in jeopardy.”
We should think of negotiating in the same way. Never put a solution before a problem.
